Every day there’s a guy, probably about my age, that stands on the street corner by my house waiting for the bus. He’s not really all that different from anybody else waiting next to him – averagely dressed, a set of headphones, somber, generally friendly looking.
The only difference is you always know when he’s there because he’s usually singing at the top of his lungs. I’m not joking; he really belts it out. I imagine he’d make one hell of an opera singer if it weren’t for the fact that he’s, well, really bad.
When I first ran into Vocal Man, it actually kind of bothered me.
“Doesn’t he realize how bad he is?,” I’d ask myself as I passed by. “Doesn’t he know we’d all be a lot more comfortable if he’d just stop?”
Of course, my comfort doesn’t seem to bother him. Every day he shows up and does his thing, standing on the corner, waiting for the bus, belting out whatever’s blasting in his headphones.
I imagine he’ll never stop. And you know what? That’s exactly how it should be. It only took about 3 or 4 passes by Vocal Man before I tuned him out and went on with my life.
***
Every single person has something inside them they wish they were doing right now but refuse to try out of fear of rejection – maybe from friends, family, or just society in general.
We’re afraid that, without approval, we won’t have the courage to do it on our own. But here’s the thing: you can’t get approval until you’ve taken the first step on your own. And, once you’ve taken that first step, you don’t need approval anymore. You see just how capable you are of doing your own thing without anyone else’s permission.
Vocal Man doesn’t care that I think he’s a terrible singer.
He stands at the bus stop every single day and does his thing no matter who walks by giving him funny looks. He doesn’t need my approval. As for me? After seeing him for three or four days, I hardly even realize he’s there anymore.
Before I started Advanced Riskology, I spent a year running a website that nobody looked at. Truth is, it wasn’t very good, but I still consider those days of learning to write some of the best of my life. Anyone that came across it and didn’t enjoy it simply left.
He’s doing his thing, I’m doing mine, and neither of us are harmed by it. Live and let live.
***
In life, we’re all eventually faced with a decision to make. A moment comes when the desire to do what you really want nearly overwhelms you and it feels like you can’t go another day without making a change.
I wish I could say that, in this moment, everybody makes the choice to live on their own terms, but it isn’t true. Even though every piece of you wants to head that new direction, it’s still up to you to make the decision – to finally seize your opportunity.
Vocal Man figured this out, and his life will forever be better because of it. Unfortunately, many will never make that choice and, in time, regret it.
So, when life tells you it’s time to stand on the corner and sing, will you do it? Or will you only ponder it a moment and say, “maybe tomorrow”?
***
Yesterday, I passed Vocal Man on my way home from the store. He’d just ended quite a number and you could tell he’d strained his voice a little as the corner fell silent. Then, I heard something I never expected.
Clapping.
~~~~~
Image by: Amanda Woodward
Nice post nab, so true that were always afraid to do something that’s a little different from the status quo. I learnt that it’s all in your head; most of the bad things you imagine never even happen and as long as you keep doing what you want to do, passionately like mr vocal man, eventually you’ll get applause. This post reminds me of how I felt before launching nicheinterview – a whole year wasted in being too scared to put myself out there, and now that it’s live I’m getting amazing feedback and none of the bad stuff ever happened. If you want to do something, just @&$(@ do it and don’t look back!
Congrats on the launch, Jurgen. It’s true – all the terrible things we think will happen are usually just excuses to stall.
No matter what you decide to do, you’ll always upset someone, so you may as well just do what you want, right?
Anne Lamott writes:
…every single one of us at birth is given an emotional acre all our own… And as long as you don’t hurt anyone, you really get to do with your acre as you please. You can plant fruit trees or flowers or alphabetized rows of vegetables, or nothing at all. If you want your acre to look like a giant garage sale, or an auto-wrecking yard, that’s what you get to do with it. There’s a fence around your acre, though, with a gate, and if people keep coming into your land and sliming it or trying to get you to do what they think is right, you get to ask them to leave. And they have to go, because this is your acre.
Here’s to Vocal Man and his plot of land and here’s to anyone of us making the acre our own.
Nice affirmation, Tyler.
That’s a really great quote. I haven’t read that before.
Very nicely put! I just have to love your Vocal Guy. A man after my own heart!…you should dance the next time you pass him by. Do a little jig!
I have a workout shirt that reads “When is the last time you did something for the first time?” and this inspires me every time I wear it. Last week I decided to try out a book club meeting and a gourmet cooking class…each for the first time. I may not have been fabulous at either of them but I was re-energized about life. Your blog inspires me in this same way. Someday I’ll use my FYF and follow in your footsteps! For now, I’ll enjoy singing in the rain and shaking my booty even if it embarrasses the heck out of my family!!!
The more you do it, the less embarrassed they’ll be.
Needed to read this today. Enjoyed Annes visual of the acre. I’m working on things while not sure I will want them in the end. I’m not being stagnant and I’ll be one step closer to more opportunities in my life down the road!
I think that’s a common problem, Amy – it’s tough to commit to something when you’re not sure you’ll love the result, but I think it’s important to commit anyway because that at least gets you moving and focused on a target.
You’re always allowed to change the plan if you decide you don’t like something. It’s your life, after all.
what a different world we’d be living in if only ever one did what was in their heart.
amen brother.
nice article.
Ed
This is awesome timing because today I am vocal woman and the song (headphone free) is eye of the tiger
seriously, I rode the bus in this morning and at the bus stop and walking to work from the bus stop, and as i sit here at my desk (albeit more quietly here) I have been humming/singing it because I don’t know all the lyrics
and you know what, my day has been amazing so far. It’s like a theme song today, now I just should be this way with all of my decisions to have the eye of the tiger and go for it.
Rock on, Tyler! I spent much of my younger life not standing on the corner and singing. For me, it wasn’t a “maybe tomorrow” procrastination that kept me quiet. It was the fear that nobody out there in the rest of the world would like my song . . . the fear of no clapping, and humiliation.
But all that’s changed! The older I get, the more Karol Gajda my approach to life gets. If someone likes what I’m doing and saying, sweet! If not, see ya. The result of this change? 100% positive: I’m way happier and accomplish more of my life goals everyday!
Love your blog, dude- keep it comin’!
That’s a good point, Mark. The fear of rejection or humiliation is the underlying cause of the “maybe tomorrow” response.
The thing is, the longer you go using that as a reason not to stand out and do your thing, the harder it gets to change. It doesn’t fix itself on it’s own. You have to actually do something to change it.
uh oh. i think i did a ‘vocal man’ on my blog. check it.
ohhhhhrigghhhtttt. it’s a good thing! get out there. do your shiz. thanks for this tyler!
Spot on. Do what you want. If people want to come along, invite them to enjoy it. If not, it’s okay. Everyone has their own thing.
Great post, Tyler! This is so true.
As a parent, I face the dilemma quite often with my children of “do I stifle this activity” or “do I Iet it go and hope they retain that curious wonder as they get older?”
My theory is that if it’s not hurting anybody, let ‘em do it! Maybe Vocal Man’s parents let him satisfy that natural wonder, too.
so true. great post and inspiration. i am excited to share this post with friends – we were having a VERY SIMILAR conversation late yesterday afternoon. (hmmm? this just reminded me of making that simple decision – halloween get-up for this year. here’s sharing past 2+ years’ costumes with you. cow costume getting weathered, though.) enjoy your day!
Awesome article Tyler. Just wrote my first blog for my business today, no one is following it yet, but I did it! One step further that yesterday…And one more toward tomorrow..
Awesome Tyler. I had a thought in the car the other day that in order to be ourselves we need to accept that we are going to offend/disturb certain people. It’s just the nature of being unique in a diverse world.
Yeah, it takes courage do go after your passion. I always admired people who lived in their own world.
I love this post, Tyler. It really hit home. I am so ready now to head off in a new direction, but I can’t seem to figure out what it is. Sometimes the first step is hard only because one doesn’t know what it even is!! The only thing I ever wanted to do with my life when I was growing up was sing, dance and act, but none of that worked out. Now, at 52, it’s a little late to make a living doing any of those. I had a brief stint doing vocals with different groups I put together, but after a good start, things would just fizzle out. Now I’m back to wondering what I could possibly do that would bring me joy and fulfillment. I’m in my 22nd year as a professional librarian, first in university medical centers and now in public schools and I am so burnt out. It was never what I wanted to do in the first place, but the opportunities dropped in my lap, so I took them. Now with my kids grown, I’m looking at my life and wondering where the time went and why I didn’t find a way to do something I really loved. I admire you and all of your young readers who refuse to sell out to everyone else’s expectations. Viva Vocal Man!
Hi Marian,
I’m 41 so not as young as some of the other readers! I agree with you that age is a factor BUT I don’t think you look at the root of the dream and see if there is another way it can be expressed given your current circumstance. You probably have missed your chance to become a Hollywood starlet, but there are still lots of ways for you to realise you noble dream of performing. It might not become your career, but for myself living my dream as a hobby, has taken the pressure of my career (which otherwise I am quite happy with, most days!) In your post you say the groups you put together fizzled out. Why not join an existing group? Or just try again. Make the dream a part of your life. Don’t look at it so all or nothing. The end results may not look like what you imagined, but that the magic of life.
Thank you for this. It is incredibly timely for me, needing to make a decision about a possible performance next weekend that I “don’t feel ready” for…
I’m really touched by the end of the story.
I think sometimes what makes making a change so hard is that we don’t give us approval inside. Maybe, it just has nothing to do with the others. It’s our call.