Back in May, I published a how-to article about running your first marathon. I thought it was a great fit for the site.
I was sure it would end up one of my pieces of “pillar content.” It was long and comprehensive, but broken up well so that it could be read easily.
I thought the article had a good message that mixed my philosophy on why I run marathons with practical tips on how to do it. If you can’t tell, I was pretty happy with how the piece turned out.
Newsflash: What I think doesn’t really matter.
If I were writing for myself as a reflective exercise, that would be fine, but I’m not. I’m writing for you. And you took one look at that article and said, “no thanks.”
When I published it, there was dead silence. No comments, no emails, no tweets.
Well, I did eventually get one comment. It was from my grandma, though, so I’m not sure if it counts.
Either way, I was positive it was going to be a hit. Instead, it fell flat on it’s face.
I’m sure if you think hard enough, you can remember a similar situation of your own.
There’s a lot of evidence to suggest that we learn more from our successes than our failures, so don’t be surprised if you have to really give it some thought to come up with an example. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I think it’s pretty important not to gloss over it.
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Here’s another interesting phenomenon:
People tend to attribute success to their own hard work and aptitude and attribute failure to external sources they couldn’t control. This is where great danger lies.
In order to really learn valuable lessons, you have to take complete responsibility for both your successes and your failures.
Truth is, you really are responsible for both even when it feels like there was nothing you could do. Your actions and decisions leading up to success or failure directly contribute to the likelihood of good or bad things happening to you. When you take that perspective, it becomes a lot easier to learn valuable lessons about how to keep succeeding or, just as importantly, quit failing.
I could say that my marathon article flopped because my audience wasn’t very big yet, but that’s just an excuse. Obviously it was big enough to get multiple comments on other articles, so there was definitely something off about that particular one.
When I look at it like that, it opens up more opportunities to explore exactly what went wrong and, more importantly, fix it:
- Maybe you guys just aren’t interested in learning about marathons.
- Maybe it was too long.
- Maybe the title scared people away before opening it to see what it was really all about.
I don’t know for sure and I’m not beating myself up, but now I have possibilities to explore and test rather than just guess and hope it works the next time.
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One more really important piece of the puzzle to learning lessons is that it shouldn’t just be reserved for the greatest successes or the biggest failures. Those are just too infrequent.
Far more useful are the completely average ones that you experience every day and forget about just minutes later. Those are the ones that hold the most power and potential to learn from.
- What made you late to that important meeting?
- Why did everyone laugh at that joke?
- What caused that little argument?
- How did I manage to strike that deal??
On the surface, they seem insignificant, but they’re not. They happen so often that improving and repeating them are what will really make the biggest difference. They also happen to be the easiest to dissect.
The only reason we don’t pay much attention to them is because we forget about them so quickly after they happen. They’re not big and sexy or spectacular and memorable. But they’re your bread and butter, so don’t forget that!
Focus on improving the average. When you do, the outliers will naturally come with it.
What about you? Have you learned any lessons recently?
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Reminder: My first better than free guide, Take This Job & Shove It launched to great fanfare on Tuesday (I think it got retweeted on Twitter almost 100 times already). If you haven’t checked it out yet, make sure you do today.
Image by: jrodmanjr
this article really struck me, especially the part about questioning the little, everyday successes and failures…
interesting aside: reading this post sparked my curiosity to go back and read the marathon posting that i overlooked… clever!
Hi Ang. I always try to find useful lessons from the little stuff because it gives me a more reliable stream of feedback. I don’t have to wait around for something big to happen.
Thanks Tyler,
I’m starting with learning from a lesson learned through a friend of mine just yesterday. She landed a sweet gig with little to no effort. What it came down to was networking, someone she knew and had built a relationship with recommended her to someone she had been talking in her workday.
Average lesson that could easily be forgotten – relationships matter.
That’s completely true. I was just talking with a friend the other day and realized that, in all the professional jobs I had through college and after, I never had a single interview!
They were all acquired through connections and recommendations. Very powerful.
You never know who you’ll reach. A non runner friend of mine called as I was reading this post. She’s planning on running a marathon next year. Interesting timing…I’ll pass it on.
Well, what a serendipity Sharon.
Thank you, Tyler – you help me look at life in a fuller way, by striving to understand what happens, why, when, where – rather than just plodding along thru the day until (surprise!) it’s bedtime again. Cause and effect – it’s easy to lose track of it while living a busy life. Your articles are a great way to get centered and focus on what is really important.
PS I did not comment on your marathon article, but I did read it (much to my surprise as I am definitely not interested in marathons) and gained some happy insight from it. Thanks for all the good work and support you give to us all.
Well I’m really glad you got something out of it even though you’re not interested in marathons, Linda.
I always try to tell a story that’s worth reading even if the specific topic is not applicable to someone.
Yeah, I have….
first off, I’ve been personally doing a lot of running lately for the Mississauga Marathon next May, so it was awesome to see the link to your tips for Marathon running!!!
Second, one thing I really noticed today is that day to day, and hour to hour, and minute to minute successes can be completely dependent on your ability to control your emotions in situations, that in turn, affect how you approach the rest of your day.
Attitude, and mental control can be the deciding factor between having a good day, and just a “meh” average day…
I hope that long drawn out reply was somehow related to your post…
in any case, lovin the site man!
Tyler – I’m so glad I found your blog! Your story emulates mine in many ways, except for the biggest piece of it all – I’m still at my “good” job. Working on those FYFs, but moving my life in the direction of my dreams. When I get those “off” feelings I at least know that I’m making big strides to a place where I NEVER have to feel them again. Whew, okay back to your post. I love the concept of thinking about the average, day-to-day successes and failures. They’re definitely the easiest to overlook, but can teach us so much. Just the other day I was struggling through a yoga pose and realized I went into it with these horrible expectations. It made me think about what else I go into expecting the worse. Lesson learned: stop expecting and just experience.
I just ran my first marathon (before that, 4 miles was my record), so I appreciate those tips! I would definitely give those to a newbie runner.
Hi Tyler,
I’m a new reader so I will have to go check out your advice on running a marathon. When I started running I saw a podcast called “Two Gomers Run A Marathon” and was so intimidated by the title I didn’t listen to it. Eventually it was recommended by a friend and I gave it a shot and loved it, but I think for a lot of people the word “marathon” is just NOT in their vocabulary.
As for overlooking small lessons – well, I am so ABSURDLY analytical that I will never have to worry about this one. I drive my friends insane because I pick apart every little thing that happens, trying to find the lesson and work on bettering myself. Sometimes I have to remind myself to cool it and just have a laugh!
In my day job, I’m a job coach to low income persons. I LOVE it. I’ve shared postings of yours with them in the past, so don’t underestimate the reach you have.
This is one I will DEFINITELY share with them. As persons who may have to work harder than the average person to reach their dreams, I’m always reminding them to “max out” whatever they can from whatever experience they have. The only job you can get right now is at the grocery store? Well, max it out! What can you learn about marketing? What can you learn about human nature? Customer service? Working with difficult people? Problem-solving? Well, max it out! Bringing it to the every day and realizing just how much you can learn and just how much you really offer to the world? Wow. Great stuff. Keep up the great posts!!
Manu – you’re absolutely right – ones ability to control their emotions greatly effects successes (and failures). Attitude is so important. And when we’re having one of those off days, it can be so hard to get out of that “meh” mindset and not let it totally control (ruin) the day.
Tyler – this is a great post. Your blurb “People tend to attribute success to their own hard work and aptitude and attribute failure to external sources they couldn’t control. This is where great danger lies.” hits the nail right on the head. But I really wish you would have expanded on the idea a bit more because it’s an important topic. I hope you’re planning to right more about it soon!
Sooooo anyway – on to your question now. LOL
Have you learned any lesson’s recently? I sure hope so! If you’re not learning any lessons on a regular basis, you’re stagnating. And that is not good at all!
For me, the most recent lesson has been to cut ties with people who 1) drain my energy, 2) aren’t trustworthy, and/or 3) are negative. I just can’t have people like those in my life right now for my own sanity (and the security of my children). As you already know from our email conversation a few days ago, that means I’ve had some huge changes in my life this year including a divorce and I’m rebuilding my life, so to speak. It’s challenging but also quite rewarding. My spirit is much lighter than it has been in a very long time.
Be blessed, Tyler! I’m so glad I found your site.
Oops! Noticed a typo in my comment AFTER I posted, of course. I have no idea why I wrote “I hope you’re planning to right more about it soon.” I am totally embarrassed!! It should be write. ((shakes head)) LOL What a morning, so far! Guess that’s what I get for not proofreading before hitting submit.