I get a lot of great emails from fun people. Enough to keep me busy almost full-time. This isn’t a bad thing—I love hearing from people all around the world who are doing interesting things. And I’m grateful that people occasionally think I can be of some help to them. So don’t be shy, get in touch.
Many of the messages I get are from people who sign up for my free email series—5 Risks That Made History. At the end of each message I have a line that says:
Need some help with this? Just hit “reply.” I read every message.
And people do hit reply. And I really do read every one I get.
Sometimes they just want to say hi or tell me about what they’re up to. But sometimes they have questions about a difficult problem they’re working through.
Whenever I offer advice I try to be very clear that my opinion is only one of 7 billion and that you are the only person that can really answer.
At the same time, I know it’s useful to have a diversity of options available when you’re trying to make a decision.
If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that AR readers are smart. Smarter than me, at least. For proof, just read the comments on any article across this site—a treasure trove of well thought through, reasoned, and articulate responses to difficult questions.
The other day, Hunter sent me a question about indecision: what do you do when you have a lot of options and don’t know which to pursue?
I think it’s a pretty common question most of us have struggled with at some point, so, with his permission, I’m posting his email and my response for you to consider:
Hey Tyler,
I just read your first email about creating our own secret plan and that you read every email you get, so I wanted to email you and say hello and tell you a little bit about my situation.
I’m 24 years old, and I think I’m having what has been come to be known as “the quarterlife [sic] crisis.” I’m looking for your advice and to see what sort of experience you can offer.
I am currently having some trouble finding motivation in my life and deciding what to do with my life. It seems that every time I think I have found direction, I end up second-guessing myself. What is your experience in learning to make decisions with what you want and sticking with them?
I am in school for graphic design right now, and I started this program a little less than a year ago. I realized my need to be creative with my mind as a result of enrolling in this program, but now I am thinking I may want to end up going back and finishing my Bachelors degree in business. I was recently re-accepted back into the university where I started about 5 years ago. I have 2 full years of business school complete, I have an Associates Degree in Ski & Snowboard Business from Colorado Mountain College, and almost another year complete in my current Graphic Design program.
As you can see, I have many options ahead of me. How do I decide what to do and decide what I want? I often feel paralyzed by indecision and suffer anxiety because of it. I have realized that time is not running out, and I’ve stopped trying to do things by myself, but I still get anxious sometimes. What sort of advice can you offer in regards to risk taking?
-Take out more student loans and finish my bachelors degree, just to have the piece of paper which could lead to a good job
-Commit to a design degree and finish out the program
-Try and get a job in the snowboard industry using my current degree
I feel like I have the spirit of an entrepreneur inside of me as well, but feel burdened by fear and indecision sometimes. I have some other ideas, but just don’t know what to do with them sometimes.
And here’s my response:
Hey Hunter,
I think a lot of people our age are familiar with the quarter-life crisis these days. With the way the economy is changing and how our social lives work now, there’s no “clear path” for us anymore, so it can be a little confusing exactly what to do.
Of course, that means there’s a lot of opportunity as well, if you look at it the right way. You mentioned three options in your email as scenarios you might pursue. I wonder—have you thought about asking for information interviews with some people in businesses/jobs that you think you might be interested in? They’re great because there’s no expectation from either party, it’s just a way to get to know some people in a certain career before jumping in—a job shadowing kind of thing.
Something like that might at least help narrow the field and tell you which way you really want to go.
Beyond that, it’s good to just take some alone time, maybe a day or two by yourself thinking about it without worrying what anyone else expects from you. When you drop all the expectations you think other people have for you, what’s left? Does any one idea get stronger? Do other options you hadn’t considered pop up?
As for entrepreneurship, I always encourage it, but that still doesn’t mean you have to go head first into it now. Have you ever run a side business before? Something you could start for less than $100 and only needs a few customers/clients to be profitable? Starting a few of those will tell you a lot about what type of work you really want to do and where you might want to head when it’s time to think about scaling up to bigger things. This is something you can do in your spare time with or without a “real” job.
Good luck Hunter. It seems like you’re a pretty thoughtful and intentional person, so I’m sure you’ll make the right decision when it comes time to make it.
***
So now I turn it over to you, fellow riskologist. Do you have any advice for Hunter?
What would you do if you were in his place? Which risks should he watch out for? Which should he embrace? Leave your answer in the comments below.
~~~~~
Image by: Bods
I remember being in Hunter’s shoes. (For the record, I’m 28 now and graduated 5 years ago from college.) I commend Hunter for his foresight … it’s a waste of time and money to continue with something that you neither want to do nor will help you personally or professionally. Too many people aren’t sure what they want, so they just keep going back to school and taking on debt.
I’d say Tyler’s advice is spot-on and very practical. Really, his is the advice I’d give, particularly the part about talking with professionals in the areas he’s considering joining. I’d add some tips from my own quarter-life crisis experience:
Play. The typical 9-5 is not the sum of who you are. Don’t neglect your passions or you risk turning into one of a cubicle zombies. Who knows, one of your hobbies may turn into another career for you. Look at Steve Jobs, who started Apple from his parent’s garage, where he built his first computers.
If you haven’t already, learn how to wield money. It’s much easier to make decisions when you feel comfortable managing your finances. That can mean getting a checking account, setting a budget, keeping track of your expenses, figuring out IRAs, whatever. I would have moved faster out of college and into the real world if I knew how to manage my money and what a credit score was. When you do this, you get a sense of where you can go, what you can do, how much money you have to make to make ends meet, what your time’s worth, what your services are worth and so much more. Money’s your friend and a powerful tool, so get well acquainted!
Go meet people. I’ve gotten interesting job/education/networking offers from people I just met because they liked something I had to offer. One business owner (I met at a party!) said she’d like to work with me because of my art and computer background, and at the time, I’d never done web design professionally, but there you go … opportunity.
One of the best things I did was skive off graduate school to go work in different jobs that vaguely interested me. I got to see what I liked and what I couldn’t imagine doing for the next 40 years. Not only did I save on grad school tuition, but somebody paid ME instead!
I think the most important thing is to be patient with yourself and go into this with the playfulness of a child. Our generation has been pushed to be the best, so we’re all a little shocked when we leave the structure of school and realize we’re 22 and not yet wildly successful or even sure of what we want out of life. I’m 28 and I’ve only recently learned what I want to do. Many people much older than me still are.
Oh, and whatever you do, don’t go to law school. That seems to be the safety net for lots of people who aren’t sure what they want to do.
Thanks for adding all of that, Carolynn. Lots of great, practical stuff there.
And I chuckled at the law school line.
I say that as someone who decided to put off law school and instead work for some really miserable attorneys. That decision saved me $250k and a lot of unhappiness!
Hunter, let me first say I can really relate. Same age, went back to school over a year ago, some minor anxiety problems over life direction, etc.
What helped me, and this is where Tyler hit the nail on the head, was when I finally EMBRACED the idea of stripping away the bonds of outside expectations. It’s such an easy thing to say, “ignore what others think, be yourself, etc”, however, as evidenced by our pop culture crazed society, it’s much easier said than done. What happens when you actually are able to allow yourself that freedom, you realize that second guessing, stresses, etc, all seem to slowly dissolve.
When you “do your own thing”, you realize that no matter which path you take, you are never wrong, because you are following your gut. If you end up not enjoying something, you can always walk away, but with the feeling that you gave it your all. Trust me, I’m well aware that in situations such as education, where financial matters come into play, it’s a lot tougher to simply walk away than it sounds, however without taking the first step, you will never have the OPPORTUNITY to realize if your instinct was right or wrong.
Whatever choice you make, run towards it with 100% conviction, and your odds of success are great.
Those are really good points, James:
1. What ever you choose, give it 100%; don’t dabble.
2. You’re always free to change your mind.
As someone who is coming through their mid-life crisis
, I would add something else. It is fabulous that you have that many opportunities. Once you’ve done what Tyler suggests, I’d suggest combining the other elements into a job that fits YOU! Look at the big picture. For instance, say you decided to get your degree in business and you opened a ski shop. You have enough design experience to create your own marketing material. Or if you decide to focus on your design degree, focus your efforts on ski shops. Use all of your knowledge.
That’s a great point Heather, it’s the old saying “the more you know”. The options are endless.
Heather: This is a great point and I’m so glad someone made it. Education and experience often come together in unexpected ways!
I think it also helps to decide what you want to create and work backwards to figure out how to get there. I know I focused too much on doing a degree program without thinking much about what I wanted my life and career to be, and the latter should really be the focus so you know what to shoot for.
Overlapping your talents is a great idea, Heather. Thanks for sharing that.
The quarter life crisis is the new mid-life crisis
Anyone in our generation has gone through it on different ends of the spectrum. Look at it positively though – you are insightful enough at this young age to try and set out doing what is best for YOU. That’s key, don’t worry about what others think you should do…that won’t lead to your happiness.
I think the suggestions that Tyler and the others have made are great. The only things I would add is think about a job/career/hobby that you are truly PASSIONATE about. Do that. Who cares if you don’t have the experience, knowledge, background to be wildly successful now. All the more reason you should focus on it. Do everything you can to learn more, experience more about your passion. If you can use your previous degree(s) to help jump-start this process, great. If not, then at least you’re realizing this now and not when you’re 55.
Like Tyler said, think of ways to start a “side hustle” too. If you can start something on the side of a regular job, get more experience, gain some knowledge, AND make a little dough then you’re set.
Lastly, I would add that you do in fact talk to people. If you can talk to people in roles you think you may be interested that’s great. But beware – it’s hard to truly “see” a job in just a few hours or even a couple of days. The people I would talk to are the people who know you. They have seen what you’re good at and what you enjoy. Whatever it is that you get excited about doing and people notice and thank you for…chase that.
Hunter,
I don’t have personal insight that would be nearly as useful as what Emilie provides for people who are in your exact situation. I’m all about encouraging people to come to AR, stick around and bask in knowledge Tyler imparts but sometimes you need to ask the experts. Good news! There is an expert who will address most of your question for free. Check out Puttylike at http://puttylike.com/start-here/ and if you like what you see it’s an awesome community to help you find the direction you need.
You’re right. Emilie has a great community for people in just this situation.
Hunter,
I couldn’t resist puting in my two cents worth. The first thing that struck me about your delima was…..RELAX, everyone goes through it! Second, there is no right answer!
Third, finish something….anything! THEN go on to the next! The more you waver, the more time that goes by. Then, one day you wake up, you’re 52 and you find out you have MS (or any other debilitating disease), then you realize how much time you wasted trying to decide.
Fourth, follow your heart!
Fifth, if your heart isn’t talking…….PICK SOMETHING!!!! It doesn’t matter what, if your first choice doesn’t work out, go on to the next! That’s life!
Sixth………To over analyze is to paralyze!
This is YOUR experience…..be sure to enjoy it!
Hey Tyler,
Great post. I’d say to hunter that the first thing to be ok with is that we are all multi-passionate to a degree and he is in good company when it comes to having so many interests and choices.
These days, it’s pretty much a wide-open world where you really can do just about anything you like, and if you believe in Hick’s Law of design, then you know that the more choices you have, the harder (and longer) it will be to decide.
But, I like to think that you can actually do all your passions. Pick one that you can do which will lead to living the life you want and the others you can do on the side. Or vice versa.
It’s easy to try and pick this “one great thing” we are meant to do because the truth is, there are many things.
Here is an exercise that will seem a bit strange but I can tell you that it works and it’s highly effective and it helps you find your true purpose in life (this is good especially during a quarter-life crisis):
1. Sit down with a pen and paper, or at your computer where you can be totally undistracted and comfortable.
2. At the top, write this: “What is my true purpose in life?”
3. Write an answer (anything) that pops into your mind…just write whatever comes into your head first
4. Now, repeat step three until you write that answer that causes you to cry or sends chills up your spine….no matter how long it takes, just keep writing and keep answering that question..it will happen
Shane I followed a similar exercise last year (It was there on Brian Tracy’s blog). I came up with a hundred things I wanted to do. Neither was there anything that could send more chills up my spine than the others. Then I found one thing – main aim is, be happy all the time, whatever the situation may be. But last few weeks posed me another challenge – you are not the only one who controls your happiness (or moods). Now I’m down again.
Hi Aditya,
Who else controls your happiness?
We are not alone. There are people relying on us. There are people we rely upon. There are some who criticize you all the time. There are others who are ready to ridicule every decision you make. And yea, you can’t keep everyone happy all the time.
Being so strong to face these critics and commentators seems difficult to me right now. As I’ve explained my present position in my next post, I’m going through a phase where every single choice I take would change my future. There are many people around me who’re giving their ‘valuable’ advice. And I, as always, would do what I have already decided.
Difficult part is here : how to face all those people.
I guess Tyler, you can write a complete article on it!
Tyler DID write an article on that. And it’s one of my favorites on the whole site. http://advancedriskology.com/piss-off-critics/
Although I have to ask; Tyler, if it weren’t for your AR readers, you wouldn’t feel like your decision to run this website was validated, would you? For entrepeneurs, aren’t your fans/customers expectations incredibly important?
Hey Trent, thanks for digging that up. And the question you ask is a good one.
The answer is simple, but it isn’t yes or no, it’s kind of both. I decided to focus my energy on risk taking because it’s something that’s incredibly important to me even if no one else cares about it. I started the website because I had a hunch that I wasn’t the only one that felt that way.
So, in a way, you’re right. If there were no readers here, I probably wouldn’t keep the site going forever because the message wouldn’t be getting across. But I *would* still be focused on putting that message somewhere else that more people connected with.
In the end, I think knowing what you want to do is more important than knowing exactly how to do it. That’s something that can be figured out along the way once you’ve picked a direction. The what and the why kind have to come from somewhere deeper inside, somewhere personal.
Once you have that, though, then the how sort of takes care of itself after awhile (though it’s always a bit of a struggle).
Aditya,
Thanks for the message back. I’d echo what Tyler asked, who controls your happiness? I used to allow limiting beliefs to control mine, but the real essence is that you are the only one in complete control of your own happiness….
External things will always come at us, but I shift how they make me feel and thus I can take something that would otherwise cause discontent and totally reframe it
There are other methods as well but reframing is one of my most used
hmm. yeah!
Greetings from India!
This article was what I needed at this time. I’m in the beginning phase of this mid-life crisis. I graduated in Computer Engineering in 2011. I had big plans to be an entrepreneur but failed because of multiple reasons. Now I’m waiting for this year’s admissions into Masters (postgraduate) programs (in summer). I still have a hundred options in front of me. I could go out and take a job in software firms, or become a lecturer or trainer; there were many other options. But now when I’ve decided to go for masters, I’m preparing for exams and giving 100% to it with no confusion.
Carolynn, thanks for the great advice.
And Tyler, you’re my guru!
First of all, know that whatever you choose, it’s NOT forever. You can change and combine things whenever you want.
Just to show what’s happening in your world, we just hired a 22 year old woman who just graduated from college (in Colorado) with a degree in communications. She was living in Boulder and working with snowboarding companies to develop events and promotions. She loves social media. Upon graduation she started her own social media marketing company and is working with us to promote a water company to people living the active lifestyle in Colorado. She’s combining her passions into something unique that fills a need.
I completely agree with Heather’s comment and would also suggest a visit to Puttylike.
Rather than asking BIG questions like “What’s your purpose in life?” I would focus on something like, “What do you want your average day to look like?” being very specific (where do you live, what does your home look and feel like, in detail, what do you do from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, who lives with you, who do you spend time with, what are you doing for & with other people). This will change throughout your life so adapt as time passes.
I spent 23 years as a financial executive (CFO) for a variety of companies (I was an accounting major). I went through what you’re experiencing after working in the corporate world for about 7 years. I ended up taking a 2 year sabbatical to find my passion. I managed a dude ranch, trained horses, went to outfitting school and a few other things. I went back to the corporate world but I now live in the mountains, living the lifestyle I wanted and I work from home. I started a blog a year ago about finding happiness through mindfulness which will start generating an additional income this year.
Combine your loves and talents. It will all continue to change and evolve over time. Follow YOUR heart, not others’ expecations.
Hunter, here’s my 2 cents.
First off, every decision you are faced with is a good one as far as I can tell so revel in the fact that you have a “high class set of problems” There’s no right answer and the answer you come to right now may be right for a period of time and the current circumstances. Since you are young, I would suggest you decide from the perspective of which choice would give you more options now and into the future. You can always change careers and gain new skills (and you should and likely will do both), but right now the choice that can afford you the most options might be the one you consider the most.
I know there is a lot of talk about not needing a college degree these days, and if you are a driven entrepreneur with a killer idea its likely true. However, having a good set of skills and a solid educational background will be a foundation you can build any type of life upon.
Good luck and remember to have fun!
Hunter, I don’t pretend to be much of a resident psychologist but I’ve been told I listen well (usually because the mind works faster than the mouth most times).
I’ve had a few mini-crises that, looking back in my case, were warning signs of burn-out at whatever I was grinding at the time.
I’ve personally been very successful re-energizing taking an international vacation. Italy and Hawaii have been two of the best; the first for culture, the second for middle-of-nowhere relaxing. Often times I find the inspiration/motivation for something new or to get back into what I left in the oddest most random/uninteresting places.
All I can say is the international travel formula has worked for me. If nothing else, you have one more life experience under your belt.
Best of luck.
I can vouch for this approach!
You should definitely check out Therese Schwenkler’s recent post about this. It was a definite light bulb moment for me when I read it. She talks about how ridiculous it is that essentially we are expected to internet-shop for a career and know what we are supposed to do without having tried anything out. I’ve been struggling with this as well over the last year, and learning to find the fun in trying different things and letting go of the need-to-know is the most helpful advice I’ve found. Life is an adventure!
Whoops, forgot to include the URL to the post I mentioned: http://www.theunlost.com/work/save-your-soul-from-shoulditis-in-twenty-twelve/
Great post! I’ve bookmarked your blog.
Find someone else to help succeed. Success is a boomerang. The old saying is ” there is no limit to what one can do as long as no one cares who gets the credit” is true. Often some of my biggest learning experiences have come through helping other people. It is also stress free in a lot of ways. You are able to see things from a different perspective while not under the pressure. “the greatest among you shall be servant of the rest”. I know this is not a complete answer but a truth that will take you closer to discovering it.
My take might be a bit different.
I think in general we spend so much time having to know the “destination”..because we are afraid of investing time/energy into the “wrong thing”..what if we choose school, but find out it is not “right”–that would be a “failure” and we don’t like to fail. We don’t think how it is a success because of the mere fact that we invested in it. So, let’s release all of the labels.
Here is what I recommend to clients. What do you *love* to do–brings you joy, you would do even on a “rainy” day, even when you are exhausted you do it because you love it that much. Do it. Whatever it is. That is your truth, and when you live your truth, all else falls into place, I promise. Committing to your truth does not mean you are not committing to something else, and it does not mean you will do it forever, because your truth might change tomorrow. And that is okay.
Commitment to the value means there will be many paths available to you, commitment to something that already makes you exhausted thinking about it means that there will be a dead end. We choose. And we choose each and every day.
Invest in what you love, in what matters to you, and your life will be one that you love, and you feel fulfilled within.
(And, yes, I tend to believe that love is always the answer *grin*)
“Invest in what you love.” I like that answer a lot.
Hey Tyler, Another great post and great comments everyone – talk about crowdsourcing an answer. Hunter has no idea how lucky he is.
I remember when I turned 24 (24 years ago!), it was definitely a major milestone and I can relate to Hunter’s dilemma. I also think it’s very common because 24 is, for most people, a coupla years out of college and the dawning of the realization that “Hey, I’m a grown-up – now what?” (BTW, that feeling might never go away.)
I thought your answers and the comments were right on but I would elaborate a little.
When it comes to meeting people and doing informational type of interviews – try to find people that you like (are like-minded, simpatico, whatever) and are doing something you would like to know more about.
The ideal first jobs you get out of college – or while finishing college – are the ones where you’re going to learn something from someone that already has the experience you want. Doesn’t have to be something you’re going to do for the rest of your life, just something you want to learn. Find those people and be a sponge. If you get paid, so much the better.
As for the entrepreneurship suggestion, I’d emphasize that even more. Start a small side business – doesn’t matter what it is – and we’re lucky because there is SO much more information about starting businesses right now than when I was 24.
Hunter can do anything, walk dogs, sell design on Craig’s list, sell stuff on eBay. The idea is to learn to be entrepreneurial (and don’t say, not everyone can be – it’s something you learn).
By setting up a side business you learn how to come up with ideas others will pay for, you strengthen your ability to take criticism, you learn how to build and execute ideas, you end up meeting other people (especially if you look for a mentor for a small business), you learn to how “eat what you kill,” and you might even learn how to delegate and manage people.
This skill can not be overemphasized and I wish someone would’ve told me the lawn care business I had as a teenager was something I should’ve continued through my 20s.
Also, don’t be afraid to volunteer or intern in a place where you can learn the skill you’re looking for.
Finally, as soon as is possible, Hunter travel. Save up money with whatever job you do and get out and see the world outside our borders. Nothing will be more inspirational and nothing is easier when you’re in your 20s.
Again, thanks for a fantastic post and best of luck Hunter.
Hey Karlos,
Thanks for leaving such a thoughtful response. I hope Hunter reads it (he knows this is here).
You and many others who’ve commented here are the reason why the community here is so powerful. There’s enough diversity here to put any idea through the wringer and you all come up with so many excellent solutions to any problem.
I really appreciate all of you.
Hunter, as someone with a lot of varied interests, I’ve given this type of scenario a lot of thought in the last year. I’m afraid I’m about to get long-winded, but this is what I wish someone had told the younger, pre-university me:
Don’t just think about what you like to study and learn about, think about the types of jobs that type of education leads to. (I have an M.Sc. in botany – I found it a fascinating course of study, but when I emerged with my degree it was also with the realization that I did NOT want to be stuck in a lab, which is what most professional botanists do.)
Look backwards for clues for what your true interests and passions are. (I started saving to buy a house when I was 11, yet never twigged to the fact that I should consider real estate or architecture until I was finished my schooling and didn’t want to go back.)
Think about your values, not just your interests. For example, a person who believes strongly in making time for family probably won’t ultimately be happy in an inescapable 60-hr workweek. Someone who is into clean living and exercise might not want to work for a tobacco company.
It’s not all-or-nothing. You never know where an opportunity will come from. There’s nothing wrong with going snowboarding and networking within that community while finishing your business degree. Or you can offer freelance graphic design services while you’re trying something else out.
Take advantage of your youth and flexibility. It’s not a big deal now for you to take risks and try something out and not succeed: it’s much harder to change when you have a spouse and children counting on the steady salary and good benefits from your mind-numbing 9 to 5 job. Trust me on this one.
Remember, time moves forward no matter what you do, so you might as well pick a direction and try something out. If it’s the wrong one, at least you’ll know and can move on to something else sooner rather than later.
Hope this was helpful. Good luck.
Favorite comment: Whatever you do, don’t go to law school.
I second that. So many people do it by default because they don’t know what they really want. That’s a dangerous path to take, especially now, when many of those people can’t get jobs that pay them enough to pay off their loans and living expenses.
Hi Hunter,
My advice is to do what you are passionate about. If you do you’ll get up every morning wanting to begin your work zealously. At night time you’ll rest knowing that a good job has been done.
This for me is the recipe for living a life of peaceful anticipation.
Good Luck,
Jason
Do some information interviews as Tyler suggested. Find out the problems those people are having and then find a way you can fix those problems. It’s as simple as that. check out I will teach you be rich. Ramit is about to launch a course on f inding yourdream job
Hi,
The great thing about being a video game programming hobbyist is that I can always find something to fall back on…something that, while it may not be making me any money, is a good way to stay active, productive, current, and focused. Find something like that if at all possible…something that keeps your skills sharp. If it garners you a reputation, all the better.
Don’t be afraid to run with a decision. All those I’ve known who consider themselves successful understand that life is not a multiple-choice test. As others have said, you don’t pick the best thing, you pick a thing. Because in these matters, whether or not what you do is great all depends on how well you do it. Every time I felt, as you describe, “paralyzed by indecisiveness”, it was because of a fundamental misunderstanding of how such decisions work.
Finally, get a job. Do anything that pays, doesn’t burn you out, and gives you enough free time to pursue real ventures. You won’t regret having a stable income, even if it’s not glamorous (disclaimer: I’m not an expert here
. But think of all the great men who started out as bag-boys…they didn’t “get lucky”, they studied hard. They just knew what they needed to do all the while to pay their bills. And in many cases, it gave them the resources they needed (in Steve Jobs’ case, after a long series of hobbyist ventures, he went to work for David Hewlett of HP, and then Nolan Bushnell at ATARI; without the money he earned there and the connections he made, the APPLE I would never have seen the light).
That brings me to my last point. Of course everyone needs to have real, dedicated friends, regardless of who they are. But often you’ll find you benefit from knowing “useful” people; people who you may see as wise mentors now but who also happen to be at the helm of industries…people who can hire you with the stroke of a keyboard, when you’re ready for it.
Also, I recommend you read ArtOfManliness.com, as well as this website, for all-important tips about how to avoid crippling mental and emotional distraction and confide in yourself.
Good luck and godspeed sir.
I think Hunter is great! Clearly you have multi-talents and why should you have to choose to stick to just one above all the others? I personally found the work of Barbara Sher very useful – a fresh approach to life coaching. Her most popular book is called “What Do I Do When I Want To Do Everything (UK version) or “Refuse To Choose”(USA version). She also has a website which admittedly looks rather dated compared with Tyler’s snazzy modern look! It may not be the answer you are looking for, however your story made me think of many of the people she has helped. Best of Luck!
[...] like anyone else, I battle distraction and opportunity overwhelm on a daily [...]
The content of this post is very interesting and I feel that I can relate! I feel that I have already had my “quarterlife crisis.” I am 20, still in my first University, and I consider myself, even though I am in my third year, to be “just starting college.” This is because I have already gone through many career possibilities, and I have just decided during this semester with the utmost certainty what I want to do for the rest of my life (career-wise).
In high school, my career choices included psychologist, video game programmer, computer programmer, and photographer. There were probably more but I can’t remember. Since I entered college, my career choices have included accountant, translator, nurse, and dietitian. I am sure there were also more here as well.
When I took Nutrition last semester to fulfill a general education requirement, I was fascinated by the Gastrointestinal Tract, and I decided that I wanted to look into careers relating to the body and health. My first thought was a dietitian, because I am aware of the increasing obesity rates and other health declines in America and other developed countries relating to eating and lack of exercise. But it’s not satisfying enough to me for many reasons, including that I believe it would be too easy to achieve. Also, other criteria for career choices (and the reasons I did not choose these) for myself have become: job availability, salary, whether I would have to lie or support a lying product in order to sell or sell more of it (for example, putting “Can Help Reduce Cholesterol” on every box that contains at least x grams of fiber per serving just because there are studies that show that if you eat half a box of Quaker Oat Meal daily that your cholesterol will go down), make other claims that are false or not fully supported, consistent and not too many working hours, whether I could be passionate about it (which for me includes thinking critically and having a lot of knowledge as a part of the job description). Also, I have worked as an Office Assistant/Secretary/Receptionist for a company that makes charging stations for electric vehicles. I fully support their cause, I believe they are at the top of their class as far as EV Charging Station Companies goes, and I loved my job, but I disliked the lack of autonomy, and there were too many tasks that I was expected to complete daily on top of the sneak attack lunch-order-and-pickups and printer malfunctions along with the 30 tasks my boss asked me to do or was following up on every day in my four-hour-four-day work week.
My mother (just over 40) is going back to college to become a Nurse, taking a couple of classes each semester alongside her job to do so. Because of my mother’s decision to become a Nurse and my vehement interest in the body, I decided that I wanted to become a Nurse. However, my therapist (I have been going since I was 17, and not due to a psychological issue or pathology) asked me why I wanted to become a Nurse rather than a Physician. I had not considered it before she brought it up. I thought about it by the next appointment, but I had come up with reasons that showed that I simply didn’t know what it’s like to be a Physician. She answered my few questions which quelled my disinterest. My therapist is well aware that I am intellectually capable of such a feat and wanted me to seriously consider it if I had not already. By the following appointment with my therapist, I had decided. Since I have started studying Japanese four semesters ago, and Human Anatomy this semester (and getting a very easy A in Anatomy and 100% in Japanese), I have discovered my love for knowledge and have greatly developed my studying skills. I have less than a year of formal somatic education underneath my pink-and-black-checkered belt, but I am absolutely certain of where I am headed, at least to the degree that I need to know for the time being. (I can’t say right now whether I’ll specialize, but I have five years at the very least to decide.) I am going to become a Physician.
I hope everyone’s choices lead to fulfilling outcomes!