Sometimes I waffle with decision-making. I’ll spend days pouring over unimportant details and conveniently ignoring the big picture. Sometimes I’ll commit myself to writing an article and, at the last-minute, scrap the whole thing and write something completely different.
I do this because there aren’t any limits. No one tells me what to say or write or how to live my life. This is a good thing, but sometimes it’s scary, so I avoid making decisions and moving forward.
Luckily, I’ve gotten pretty good at realizing when I’m stalling and I’ve found ways to remedy it—like announcing plans before they’re ready or setting a “time bomb” for myself by doing something like buying a plane ticket without any other details figured out.
Freedom is a tricky thing. Once you have a bit, you want more. But the more you get, the greater the risk you run of not actually using it.
If you’re reading this article from your own computer on your own time, then you’re freer than nearly everyone in the world who’s come before you. You may even have more choices to make about your life than you know what to do with right now.
And with that freedom also comes an incredible responsibility. When you can’t blame anyone else for your decisions, it becomes a lot riskier to make them on your own.
If you’re not ready to cope with that, then you might just neglect them.
Decision and action avoidance comes in many forms, but there are three you’re probably faced with regularly. You have a few profound freedoms today, and how you use them each day can make a big difference in your life.
1. The Freedom to Express Your True Opinions
There are many places in the world where you still can’t say what you really think about most things in life. The official opinion’s been stated, handed down, and you’re expected to fall in line.
Most great ideas never come to be because they never leave the head that’s thinking it. They die quietly, never allowed to see the light of day.
Don’t let this happen to your big ideas and your unique perspective of the world. When you have something important to say, say it. When you have something meaningful to do, do it—don’t hesitate wondering what others will think about it.
I live in Portland, Oregon where everyone’s considered unreasonably cordial to everyone else. Sometimes we get mad at each other, but we rarely say or do anything about it.
I was having coffee the other day when I ended up in a conversation with an outspoken fellow from Philadelphia. He’d moved here a few years ago and he’s bothered by the fact that no one seems to say what they really think. We’ve taken politeness beyond its reasonable limit!
I agree with him. When you have an unpopular opinion that you really believe in, you’re responsible to share it. Don’t keep quiet; don’t try to soften the edges. In the end, you’re not doing anyone any favors by shielding them from what you really think.
2. The Freedom from Having to Explain Yourself
It wasn’t that long ago that your future was determined by your mother or father’s choices. If Dad was a carpenter, that’s what you were going to be. If Mom enjoyed knitting, then you’d be a knitter, too.
It’s not like this anymore. With a few important caveats, you can pretty much do whatever makes you happy, and you’re not required to answer to anybody but yourself as to why.
Not everyone needs an explanation for why you choose to live your life the way you do, and those that do probably aren’t going to accept any answer you give them.
When you decide that you’re the only one you have to answer to about your own life, doing the things that make you happy gets a lot easier.
Want to make macarons for a living? Go for it! Always wanted to run a goat rodeo? Who’s stopping you?
3. The Freedom to Travel… Freely
Did you know there are 193 countries in the world (depending on who you ask)? Really, there are! That’s a lot—how many have you been to? For $2 a day you can get to most of them without much effort.
On the surface, travel can look very superficial—self-proclaimed adventurers (myself included) collecting passport stamps like baseball cards for no other reason than to go.
But you don’t need a reason to go.
If you want to, and can afford to, you don’t have to answer to anyone besides the airport security guard looking for a bribe.
And you don’t have to leave your country to experience the world—just your comfort zone. For about 10 minutes work, you can gather enough frequent flyer miles to go just about anywhere on your own continent. If you haven’t been, you should go. Life is different there; you’ll see.
The secret benefit to travel is that even when it’s done thoughtlessly—with no reason why—you still gain something from it. You can’t help but understand the world in a way that you hadn’t thought about before.
That’s a useful experience.
***
Your freedom is the most valuable asset you own, but just like any other asset, the less you use it, the less it can do for you. The good news is you can’t use it up or wear it out. The more you use, the more you get!
Forget what everyone else thinks. In the end, you have to answer you. And how do you want to judge yourself at the end of the day?
So go ahead—think big and take a step towards something you want today. Don’t wait! Do it now!
Query: What can you do in the next 10 minutes to put one of these three freedoms to use in your own life?
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Image by: jasmeet
I’m afraid that maybe I’m not gonna be polite, but I think you are DAMN right! Really! I mean I’m not doing anything now. I was supposed to study just now, and I was just stairing at my book, not digesting anything. I know what’s ahead of me, and what I really want. But I just can’t move forward sometimes, you know. I think it may as well be the freedom thing. But after reading this, I know now. Still, I have to stick to my routines, which I want to do the least. But I’v got an adea what I do that for.
Thank you!
I did it, expressing myself in 10 minutes!
Great article, Tyler! Thanks.
My 10-minute action? Restarting my savings in my ING account. 2 bucks a day it is. Great post Tyler!
Another great article Tyler. Keep inspiring.
I particularly enjoyed this one more so than the once I’ve already read.
Your interpretation of freedom is really neat. I also see a similar contradiction in ‘free-will’ too.
However I do feel that expressing your self especially in public is not so cut-n-dry as you mentioned. There is a lot of grey when tending to complex situations, considering everyone’s’ best interest, but I do see the point your trying to get across.
thanks for your pleasant writing, it does add a touch of optimism as I’m seem to think otherwise.
Spot on, the freedom to say what we really think, and the freedom from having to explain ourselves.
I’m with @Taylor: start saving those dollars instead of buying my daily Dunkin’ Donuts large coffee for $2.34.
I believe it comes down to reframing. We are already free (at least in the first 2 versions of the word). Nothing is physically holding us back from expressing ourselves, and we certainly don’t have to justify our actions to others (unless they’re illegal). But we continue to act to the contrary.
This is similar to Plato’s Cave. If we sit in the cave long enough and watch the shadows on the wall we begin to believe that the shadows are what real life is when in fact, they are just shadows of the real world.
Great post Tyler. Again, you continue to challenge me and cause me to think (a terrible thing, I know).
Thanks for the great comments today, everyone. Remember: Don’t just set aside 10 minutes today, do it every day!
Good luck putting those freedoms back to use.
As a native of Philadelphia myself, I hear what your new friend and you are saying
I’m going to take the next 10 minutes to start writing a blog posts that expresses my true opinions. Thanks!!
Tyler, I’ve been reading every single web-post you’ve sent out and I have to say you seem to have all the right answers in all the right times in my life, but; what if I have an SO and I know that they are holding me back? I want so much to get back to the life that I love, but I am not strong enough to let go of this person who has essentially captured me? I realize that you are only human, so I ask not as a wandering individual seeking paths unknown, but as another human. Thanks buddy.
~Amanda
I’m really not the best at relationship stuff. What I can say is that good friends and good support make anything possible. Start surrounding yourself with people who embody what you want.
You always inspire me Tyler and that last post inspires me to ask – Can you (or anyone) suggest ways to “surround yourself with people who embody what you want”?
Well, first it’s best to really understand what it is you *do* want. And sometimes that’s easiest to know when you have a clear idea of what you *don’t* want.
When you understand what you really want, you start to find things around you the resonate with that and pay more attention to them. Eventually, you end up meeting people who want the same things.
Of course, during all this you have to be willing to reject the things you know you don’t want.
This is getting a little too abstract. Someone else chime in…
Hi Meg,
None of the people I surround myself with have what I want. Not necessarily.
That said, I am inspired by who they are and what they’re after. So, in that regard, they embody what I want very well. Maybe that’s a little esoteric.
The point is, surround yourself with people doing things you admire, even if the things they’re doing are not the same things you want to do.
As for how to do that? Introduce yourself to people you admire. Not from a “fanboy” perspective, but from a “hey, you’re cool, I’m cool, we’re peers” perspective. Some of them will not reciprocate the love. Some will become acquaintances. And a few will become friends.
Karol
Thanks Carol. I’ll really have to work on – ” Introduce yourself to people you admire”! Regards Meg
[...] 3 Freedoms You’re Probably Taking For Granted Freedom is a tricky thing. Once you have a bit, you want more. But the more you get, the greater the risk you run of not actually using it. [...]
Thanks Tyler, that does help, especially “what I don’t want”
I think I cling too fast to my principles. I will re-examine those.
[...] 3 Freedoms You’re Probably Taking For Granted [...]
Unfortunately for some, they don’t get to have any kind of freedom in this world. Life is just unfair, that’s a fact. People aren’t born equal.
But yes, I agree, if you can help it, use that freedom and do something for yourself!
Living as your heart desires comes with hefty consequences, at least where I’m from (northern Texas). Doing anything different from the norm will get you socially excluded – including jobs. Speaking your true opinions can even earn you physical hostility and violence. Maybe people aren’t very civilized around here…
What do you think, Tyler?
Well, I’ve only been to Texas once, and everyone was very nice to me, but you’re right—speaking your true mind comes with consequences. Sometimes, they’re very severe.
Whether those consequences are worth it or not is up to you.